Tummy Tuesday- Haflaween

I would wear this every day if I could.

Try. Just try. Try to think of something cooler than Haflaween. Can't, can you? Even things like sex and pizza are only cool some of the time, but Haflaween? Cool all of the time. I have had bad sex, I have had bad pizza, I have never had bad Haflaween. I'm just sayin'.
   I have been to many Haflaweens over the years and every time I am so impressed by the skill and creativity of the dancers....this years Tummy Tuesday Haflaween was no exception.
Here are some pic-e-poo's....these girls TORE IT UP!

Some Kaleegy Started things off right....

Then Mena did a very intense sword number....

Phoenix did a fun number to "Luck be a lady"...she finished it off by tossing dice!

Robin danced to Shakira's "She Wolf"....loved the shredded jeans!

The lovely Sylvana, and a very enthusiastic member of the audience!

Alexandria tearin it up to "I Put A Spell on You" by Natacha Atlas....enthusiastic audience member, doin' the same.

Kristie was Lucy Van Pelt, and danced to Peanuts music. It was too much fun!

We loved Gypsy as Elvira, and her sexy sword number!

Kinda scary, really cool, Tribal Fusion number.

Ayla, pretty in pink.

                                                        

Samra did the most beautiful Samhain inspired candle/tray dance. I actually cried. It was that inspiring.



The Evil Butterflies, Lai-lai and Alea. Alea was our longsuffering DJ for the evening.

Phoenix's cool ( fake) ink.

                                                                                                                 

The "Why Should I Care?" Series

Ever read an interview by a dancer that you have never heard of and had a hard time getting through it? Maybe they asked her who her inspirations are and you think...yeah, I don't care,honey. Or she waxes poetic about some technique, and you think, that would be cool, if I knew who you were. Or maybe she started a super troupe out in North Dakota that if you are EVER in North Dakota you might remember but otherwise could give two shits about?
   At the morning show I used to do we had an aversion to asking " boring questions". Who are your inspirations, how did you get started, yadda yadda yadda. I think that an interview should be interesting whether you know the person or not, kind of like those meme things.
   SOOOOOO I have decided to start a new occasional series called the Why Should You Care? Series. I will be interviewing regular bellydancers with interesting questions that hopefully won't bore the hell out of you.


If you want to hop on board this train, and be interviewed then leave a comment with your email in it.


This will be fun, I promise.

The Dreaded Dance Circle

Dance Circles- an affliction commonly caused when the victim is unknowingly pressed upon to perform in a setting not unlike an interrogation room. Symptoms include full body sweats, sick stomach, extreme anger/and or meekness, dry mouth, and grasping for the keys. Two cures are known at this point, leave and never come back, or get through it.

  With funding from you the Dance Circle Research Fund is making great strides with a cure for this silent killer of dancers.

Ha ha. I amuse myself. Seriously, though, whether you have been dancing for a long time and you can't remember what it was like to be scared to be in a dance circle, or dance circles still make you break out in hives, they are there. They ain't goin' away.

Cluck. Cluck. You might start calling me the CHICKEN whisperer after I reveal all in this particular post, but I dodged the dreaded dance circle, or anything like it for soooooo long, it wasn't funny. It wasn't that I couldn't do it, it was that I don't like to be pushed into anything. Call me a control freak, call me what you will, say " girl, it is only dancing", and I say go eff yourself. I intensely dislike the feeling of being pushed, and even worse is when you say "no" once and then people keep pushing. I actually read that it has a name, it is called demand-resistance. ( I read a lot). Found that gem in a book about perfectionists. Basically you sort of create your own resistance, and when someone tells you what to do it makes you push back even harder. ( when it gets loopy is when you tell yourself what to do and you resist against yourself......don't think about it too much, it will give you a headache).
So class 1- back in 98'. Things were going peachy until about the fourth class, when they pulled the whole" do what you feel" ( which is covered in the wonderful book Snake Hips by Anne Thomas Soffee....she describes the exact class I took ). I suffered through it, intensely aware anytime a teacher looked at me doing snake hips over and over. This was my early twenties so after that class I am sure I got in the car, lit up a Marlboro menthol, hit the steering wheel, went home and got wasted. I didn't go back. Nope. That was the end of that beginner class for me.
   Three months later, and a fellow witch/friend of mine expressed an interest in going to bellydance with me. I figured, " hey this will be easier if I have someone with me to take the edge off". and it was. We went and when " do what you feel time" came up, we goofed off. Or copied each other. I went through intermediate and even performed a group number. Then, since I was new intermediate I started hearing the dreaded death march song to the tune of "when are you going to do a solo, when are you going to do a solo".
   I shimmied my ass outta that class just in time to find that I was pregnant and had a legit excuse not to go back. All those stress hormones not good for the baby, yeah, that was it.
     Flash forward to '04........I had a kid, a divorce, years of bellydance via VHS, experience talking to thousands of people ( radio host), and now a format change. Which meant that one morning we were told that we didn't need to come in to work until 9. Which meant that one morning I had a kick ass job, and the next I didn't. Not to mention a new house that I now couldn't pay for, a new divorce, and a three year old who we just found out after worrying about why she was barely speaking, was hearing impaired ( and later to be diagnosed autistic). It all came crashing down on me. I gained 35 pounds. I was severely depressed. Going to the grocery store was an effort and as soon as I would come home, I would lock the door and cry. So what did my dumb ass do? I signed up for another bellydance class. dumb dumb dumb.
    Oh all I could think was I need to get out of the house, I need to move again, I feel so so sad I am drowning, I have to do something, maybe this is it.
    Within two weeks I was asked to perform. I said no. I should have told her that just coming to class made me cry, that it was an effort to get out of bed. Instead I kept going, thinking that maybe my " no" would be sufficient. Instead she called me out at a halfa on the microphone and said "This is Tara, and she will be dancing next time". I felt like I got slapped in the face. I left and never went back. My attempt to heal only damaged me further and made me feel worse about myself.
     I was going to sell all my stuff. I decided that even though I loved bellydance with all my heart, I hated the pushiness of the teachers, the cattyness of the other students. I just wanted to dance, and go at my own pace and why was that so hard? This was supposed to be FUN. If it wasn't fun I didn't want to do it.
   Enter Donna. Sometime in '06 someone asked me if I wanted to take a bellydance class with them. I said sure that I'd give it one more shot. There was no meekness in me this time, no regret, I was sure that if it wasn't what I wanted that I would leave and never look back. As it were, Donna nurtured us, stretched us, but didn't push us, and when I was ready I danced. Just like that. I knew that I was ready, and I did it. Knocked out the first solo, and it was a breeze after that.
    She would say every once in a while " you guys are going to dance for me next week", and sure enough the next week would roll by and two of us would show up. seriously. There would be tumbleweeds rolling through the joint. We would anxiously watch the clock and the last five minutes of class she'd put on music and we'd dance. She was supportive, and would smile and nod at us. Yes, it was scary, but I always felt like it was my decision. She really cradled us and stretched us until it was time to let us fly on our own. She really was/is a damn great teacher. and she was smart too.

    UM.... people don't like to be pushed. Yes, you have to learn to overcome fear, yes, dance circle is a way to do that, but a flippant attitude towards new dancers is never good. Options are good. Giving people room to grow at their own pace is good. Remembering that just because you are not afraid of something doesn't mean that is doesn't terrify others is good. Being open, kind, supportive, stretching, but not pushing is good. Having faith in your students that when they are ready the natural progression is to get out there,and that they will eventually dance is good. Remembering that some people are exhibitionists, some people are scared to stand in line at the DMV but most people are somewhere in the middle is good.

    Dance circles, a necessary evil. Pushy teachers, just an evil.

Party Pooper

This weekend I missed a really cool dance event because it was my husband and I's wedding anniversary. As we ate our lobster ( yeah right, it was more like cheap but delicious Mexican food), and looked back on seven years together I found my mind drifting to the dance event. I wonder if so and so danced? Maybe so and so's troupe would be there? But quickly as I gazed into the kind green/grey eyes that have carried me through so much I was happy that I had kept my priorities in line.
   I started thinking about choosing our levels of involvement based not on what we could do but what we should do. It this tooting my own horn? no way. As a matter of fact I have bemoaned the fact that my life is not structured to allow me to go to every bellydance workshop, show, tea party etc, that comes up. I would be lying if I said that I went to half. It was a thorn in my side until recently.
     One day I consciously decided what my level of involvement would be. I decided what I wanted out of this hobby of mine and when the line from hobby crossed over into lifestyle. I set some boundaries for myself based on what I wanted out of bellydance, what I was capable of ( without burning myself out) and what was important for my life. I sort of stacked everything up, picked out the unwanted bits, unreal expectations, and just plain crap and re organized everything in my mind to set a standard for basing my decisions on.
   I know many many dancers who either have no kids, or are in their 50's 60's and their kids are grown, who have disposable incomes, or jobs that they can leave behind when they leave work, that are able to go to every event that comes up. I also know dancers who come to one or two staple annual events then disappear into the shadows for the rest of the year. I  know dancers who sign themselves up for everything, burn themselves out, and after a hiatus of a month or two start the whole process again. For those of us who have difficulty saying no, picking what we want to do can be a problem. We don't want to offend. We want to see it all, learn it all. We want to be seen. These are all fine reasons, but for every exertion of energy,something must be sacrificed.......you must decide if the sacrifice of energy, time, hanging with your kids, spouse it worth it. If it is ,go for it! Some spouses are more than happy to sit at home four nights a week playing Xbox, while we go play. But sometimes not.
    I think that there is pressure to attend everything especially once you go beyond beginner and start going to events. But we have to set limits in our mind and know what those are. On par with our level of involvement we have to decide what is important.
      There was a girl who I danced with who said ( as all beginners do), " I am just here for fun, I don't want to perform". as the months,even years went on, after most of us who used that as a cop out eventually became performing Jezebels, she stuck to her guns. People stopped pressuring her to dance. She had a level of respect because she stated her boundaries and stuck to them. 
     If you are thinking about your level of commitment, here are some things that I considered.

1. Dancers need to support each other. What events/dancers is it important for you to support, and what is just extraneous?

2. While numbering something as subjective as what is important to you is difficult and may be impossible as those things fluctuate, where do things/people  in your life rank on the priority list? My eldest daughter is autistic/hearing impaired and she is right up at the top of the list. True, I need an outlet to deal with the intense amount of energy I spend caring for her, but there comes a time when I have to ration my energy. Which sometimes means saying no to dancing and sitting at home watching TV with my husband instead.

3. You need to stay fresh. If your level of involvement is in the least integrated, you need to know a little bit about who is doing what, and why. This is an art form, and as we know bellydance is constantly evolving. Whether you are a traditional cabaret girl or not, if Joe Blow just started a new dance form where he drinks soda with a straw out of his belly button, you should at least know about it. ( this is where reading can be a good substitute for workshops if you don't have much time).

4. What is your budget? This is an obvious but necessary question.

5. What is your health/energy level/ nervous system tolerance? I give 110% to everything I do whether it be a dance or scrubbing the toilet. For more mellow people this might not be an important question, but for those of us who are fireballs, it is one to think about.

6. What is realistic? Kids? Job? Husband? Partner? What takes up your time now? What can go?What has to stay?

I think that we can create exactly the life we desire, if we are just willing to make some adjustments. Think about what you are willing to adjust.

Have it Your Way

    I told you this was not hard hitting enthralling journalism. I tole you that I like to go deeper and deeper into subjects that mean a lot to me. But you didn't listen, you are still reading. So if you get bored it ain't my fault.
  This isn't a post about reaction, this isn't a post about being who you are, or dancing where you are or even PP ( Presence and Practice) This is a post about doing things your way.
    I see dancers struggle with this a lot, as a matter of fact it seems to be a rite of passage for dancers. Much like puberty, there is a time to break away from the teacher, take some initiative, explore movement, find what is meaningful to them, all without the guidance of the teacher/parent. It can feel scary, but you need to learn to fly on your own. I have said before that to me, Plain Ole Cabaret will never get boring. It is like a musical instrument, there is always a new tune to be played, always something to learn. The people who just regurgitate moves and never feel them probably do get bored. But if you start to OWN this dance for yourself, then you can see what a wonderful vast continual learning experience it can be.
   The cool thing about bellydance as opposed to other dance forms, is that we are given the perimeters ( the movements) and then it is up to us how we put them together. It is like someone helps you into an Olympic sized swimming pool and says "here are the boundaries, now do whatever you want". We can keep the imposed boundaries, bend them or ignore them entirely, it is up to us.
   Do you think the innovators, the creators in this dance just keep doing what they were taught? Do you think Fusion, Tribal, and all other hybrids just fell from heaven one day, fully formed? People played. They moved. Let themselves go fully into the movement until the movements spoke to them and told them what to do next. Do you think Rachel Brice, and Suhalia and Tempest and Carolina Nericcio just kept doing the same two step? NO, they let out their inner spirit. They experimented. And even if it ain't your thang, you have to give them credit for taking the "old" and making something "new". They gave themselves permission to "do it their way".
So grab inspiration where you can, accept and embrace your reactions, and dance however you damn well please.

   This is where I am in my dance; I am going to do it the way I want to, and to hell with the rest.

( and doesn't that burger look amazing? it is from The Counter )

The Happy Drunk Reviews: Combination Nation 1 & 2

You know when you dance a song and you say to yourself " next time I will blah blah blah instead of blah blah blahing", and you make adjustments accordingly? Well, I think that is what happened in this series. The first Combination Nation 1 DVD was good but the second Combination Nation 2  DVD was WOW!
    Of course the Combination Nation series is....Combinations. Didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. I adore the way that they are broken down and drilled ( another earmark of Cheeky Girls, they have the formula down right), not too much breaking down,not too much drilling. Juuuuuust right.
     The first DVD felt like a lot of the same same same. Other than a cute "gooey soft shoe" by Princess F, and a really floaty piece by Shoshanna, the others were.....well, fine. Not bad, but just not that inspired. Certainly nothing that made me go" Ohh, I want to learn that". ( but I did fall in love with Zafirah on this DVD, even though her combo wasn't something to write home about I loved watching her performance at the end of the DVD).The disappointing thing was, there were so many of my favorite dancers on the first DVD, I expected more.
   I guess on the second Combination Nation DVD they decided that they could take more risks. There was a lot more variety, in the dancers and in the combo's. Americans like our variety. We NEED 50 different brands of cornflakes to choose from. I was ( as my southern husband says), "tickled" with this DVD. I loved it.
     I have noticed in Combos that if you check out the dancers body type that you can pretty much match the movements to it. I am a big, curvy somewhat chunky girl, so I enjoyed the more curvy type dancer's combo's better. This is not always the case but for the most part there is a reason that I only risk an arabesque when I have had too much wine. I have a lot of hip and ass to heave over that leg, and to do it quickly smoothly, and without wobbling......no thanks. Gimme some complicated shimmies and I'll just stay on the ground thank you very much.
    For that reason I LOVED, as in WANT TO MARRY the Magidah combo. It was a cute Saidi type thing, and it is adorable. I also fell in love with Sadiyya on this DVD.( there seems to be a lot of falling in love on this blog...) She is SO creative, and her combo's were as well. I also learned to like DaVid. His combo is simple but so cute, and I love the attitude he puts into it. As for the levels of the combos? In the first DVD they seem to be all about beginner intermediate to intermediate level. But in the second DVD they are all over the map, from beginner to advanced. ( I think Sadiyya's are pretty advanced....reverse pelvis undulation layered with a shimmy walking backwards? um, yeah).
    So all in all both of these DVD's are worth buying, but if you only have $17 and you want to buy one, buy the second one.

Don't Mess With the Bellydancers

These blog post pictures brought to you by four margaritas, two glasses of red wine and a half finished beer. This blog post brought to you by a happy bellydancer.

So this weekend, two of my beautiful friends had a wedding ceremony.

It was an emotional ceremony and just talking about it gives me the warm fuzzies. They are both sweet, kind, and thoughtful people and I am so happy they found each other. ( and I introduced them to each other, thank you very much!).
Anywho the wedding was in RVA,so I got to go home, and see some of my bellydancer peeps. We were all asked to dance at the wedding, so the following pics are of that. Once again, if you want good clear pics not taken by a drunk rowdy bellydancer, check out Roxy's Blog. She always has good pics.

The brides did the COOLEST dance as their first dance ( a bellydance, since they met at a bellydance class). They did this interlocking veil thing that I did not get clear pics of but was amazing.

The lovely and talented Ameena, who was totally working the crowd.

the lovely and talented Darva, who was also working the crowd, and for some reason her pics came out the blurriest..:(

the lovely and talented Joelle

moi





My bestest teacher Donna/Najia.

Donna workin it.

a seriously rowdy bunch.

So we ( the "bellydancer's table") were by far the LOUDEST WILDEST DRUNKEST  people at this rather conservative wedding reception. " Conservative? At a lesbian wedding reception?" you say....to which I say " don't be so narrow minded, the brides are very conservative and about as wild as my big toe". ( which as far as toes go, is not very wild). Yep, I hope their bellydancer friends didn't embarrass them. Yep, when they get back from their honeymoon, I am gonna tentatively ask them and make sure that we didn't.
But damn, it was a good party!
To my BD friends from back home.....Ya'll are coming back to North Cakalacky with me. I miss you guys rilly bad.
To the happy Brides, I am so happy for you, and honored that you'd make me a part of this celebration....
To my blog readers, thanks for listening.

Stage Makeup

Check out the dirty dishes in the background. That is what I do, play with makeup instead of doing housework. Well, you know what they say," boring women have clean houses". That is my motto.
    I am gonna manage to work in a Happy Drunk Review in this post because I really learned to develop my stage makeup by using a tutorial that is on Michelle Joyce's Secrets of the Stage 3.  ( the trailer is at the end of this post). I review so many cheeky girls DVDs this should be called the MJ Lovefest Blog instead. But hey, her DVD's are that good.
    So stage makeup. Regular makeup won't do, it just won't. I think that like finding your personal style in dancing, finding your perfect stage makeup will take time, a lot of tinkering and neglected dishes.
     Here are some tips for stage makeup....my personal opinion

Stage Makeup...How to Look Like a French Whore and Get Away with it

1. Find a good tutorial and use that as a starting point. Buy Secrets of the Stage 3, there is a complete tutorial on there, or look online. The late Kevin Aucoin published a few great Makeup books.
2. Be ready to scrap what doesn't work for you, even if the "experts" say you should do it.
3. Make a list of supplies and start collecting them. Most of them can be pricey ( eye primer, lip primer, pancake foundation), so get a little at a time.
4. Get yourself a cool makeup case that is for your stage makeup only. Get a big one so you can put bindi's and fake eyelashes in there, too.

I nicked this case from my ten year old, I think I traded her a Barbie for it.  

      
5. Get a headband to keep your hair out of your face.
6. Practice!!!!!!
7. I have no problem buying the cheap end stuff, unless you are a professional and will be wearing this all of the time. If you dance about once a month or less, though, Cover Girl will do just fine.
8.Halloween is an AWESOME time to collect cool eyelashes, glittery things, all kinds of stuff. At those roving Halloween outlets they have some neat stuff. I save a little cash especially for this every year.


I am going to put my base makeup steps on here because they are so amazing. I wore this for 8 hours the other night, and after dancing, walking all over town, two glasses of wine and a beer, I couldn't believe myself when I looked in the mirror at 2 am. My makeup looked perfect. This base will feel GROSS especially if you are not used to wearing a lot of makeup, but it will stay on until after the apocalypse.

Base makeup application for dancing....
1. On a clean dry face put on your foundation. Don't get wussy foundation. Get the stuff that covers. I use those sponge thingies to apply the makeup, you can get 'em at the Dollar store. Don't forget your neck and ears, too. ( make sure you get a shade that matches your skin tone).
2. Get a highlighter ( comes in pens and wands), and put it in the shaded spots on your face. Under the eyes, beside the nose, any dark areas. Blend it in.
3. Get "cream to powder makeup". This was recommended on the Secrets DVD and it is wonderful. It is also called pancake makeup. Put that on over everything so far.
4. Use translucent loose powder and a big brush and dust all over your face.

Trust me, this stuff ain't goin' anywhere. I actually sprayed my face with water and it beaded up on it.

If you like makeup, learning to do stage makeup can be so fun! Enjoy the process!