This is a blog about so called "teacher loyalty". Oh, how many times have I heard a dancer whisper to me" I am gonna go take a private lesson from so and so,I hope my teacher doesn't find out". At which point I say ( rather fruitlessly I might add), " If your teacher was really a good teacher she would want you to expand your knowledge and learn as much as you can". Unfortunately, I'd say maybe even half of the bellydance teachers are not like that. It is a real shame, too.
Zaghareet magazine has published a recent set of articles on what makes a good teacher. It has been a three article series, so there is a lot of information there. One of the things that stuck out to me is the "greedy teacher" syndrome ( I am paraphrasing). Teachers that don't want you to go anywhere else for instruction, teachers that bad-mouth other teachers ( very very unprofessional), teachers that seem threatened by other teachers. All of these should be major warning signs, and the only person that will be hurt in the end by staying with a teacher like that is YOU.
At the risk of coming off sounding high and mighty in this blog, I have been on the other end, so I know why a teacher would feel ownership of her students.
Several years ago I taught some pagan learning classes. The classes filled up quickly, I made good money, and I absolutely loved with every pore of my being teaching them. I was good at it. People responded in a positive manner, I got looks of awe, I got to be "an authority" on a subject that I knew a lot about. At first this adoration/attention made me uncomfortable, but after a while I ate it up then it got to the point when I fed off of it. It became a cheap pick-me-up. I found myself thinking if things didn't go my way" well they should just see me in class, THEN they will know what I can do". I really let it get away from me and become a substitute for real grounded self esteem.
Long story short, when the classes started slipping away from me I freaked out and made some really bad decisions that not only put me at odds with the people hosting the classes but ended up isolating me from them entirely. It was a hard lesson, but an important one.
Teaching is a gift. Students are not only a teachers greatest lesson, but a privilege. No one owns anything, we are lent this privilege. If you are a teacher, ask yourself, do you get your thrill from watching someone discover bellydance? or from watching someone adore you/imitate your moves, etc.?
If you are a student, consider taking from a variety of teachers to make you well rounded. I completely understand being attached to a teacher. Foxy had a good post a while back on this, what it felt like to lose a teacher. I still miss who I consider to be my teacher, even though I had taken from many others. I still miss Donna, and when I get to see her dance from time to time I told her it feels like coming home.
But I can honestly say ( and she is the one that told me this ), that if a student doesn't surpass her teacher, then the teacher is not doing her job. A teacher should introduce her students to the wide, broad world of bellydance, and like the momma bird, kick them out of the nest when they are ready.
To me, learning your own personal bellydance style is a lot like interior decorating. If you are like me and you grew up with boring beige, browns, and bronze sconces with fake greenery, if you think that is all there is, then that is what you will imitate. If you go to Ikea, go to design stores, try everything out, even change decorations like people change majors until you find what really suits you, then you will finally know your own style. But sticking with one teacher/one style will not do this for you. You will never really move forward. You will be doing nothing but imitating anothers style.
Only you can know when you have learned everything there is to learn from a particular teacher. You have to trust yourself, and know that maybe that slight itch inside you is the urge to explore. Do it.
but if you'd rather be the 35 year old living in the momma bird's basement eating cheetoes and playing video games, then go ahead.
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