Unsolved Mysteries of Bellydance

Unsolved Mysteries of Bellydance

1. Why can't they make sturdier dance canes? Seriously, my four year old could make better ones using duct tape and some cardboard. ( which is what they are probably made of anyway).

2. I know Raqs Sharki/Sharqi is the authentic term and all, but all it does is make me think of sharks.

3. You know how you are supposed to have a "go-to" move? Well I must have go-to ADHD or something because my go-to move changes every week or so. Last week I was rockin the roll ups roll downs, this week it is this sassy knee up thingy I saw in a Sadiyya combo. Maybe they make a pill for people who can't hang on to a go-to. I gotta get me some.

4. How come bacon and bellydance have never been combined? Bacon is delicious and one of my favorite things and bellydance is almost as awesome as bacon. The two need to meet. Bacon-flavored bedlah maybe? I am sure it has been done.

5. Are all fusion/tribal dancers badass? ( I am just kidding on this one, of course you are....now don't hurt me or I'll throw some glitter at you.) You know they hate glitter, makes 'em melt or somethin'.

6. The makeup thing. Some people never get the hang of the makeup thing.

7. How many beginner DVD's does a world need? For the love of god.

8. Melodia pants.  I will admit they have grown on me some,but when I first saw them I felt a little dizzy. They can't decide what they want to be....are you a skirt? bellbottoms? Fish tails? Loin cloth? Are you going to flap and fly away with your little leg-wings? They are one wash in Woolite away from being homeless person attire.  For $80 dollars a pop I deserve an explanation.

9. Wearing shoes. O.k. I know this is a matter of preference,but why would you want to wear shoes if you don't have to?
" no thanks honey, I know I just got home from work and all and I have been standing in these god-forsaken heels all day, but I'd like to keep them on. Actually I want to go dance in them".
Be free man, let it all hang out. How many times in life are we asked to be barefoot?

10. WHY is it even a "thing" to be asked how long you have been dancing? I have been dancing since '98 but there are plenty of dancers out there who leave me in the dust and have been dancing for a much shorter time. A teacher once asked me in front of the class how long I'd been dancing and after I told her I wanted to add," no really,lower your expectations. It ain't gonna be that great". Dancers wear their years like patches on a boy scout....who friggin' cares?

11. Plays on words a la bellydance. You know when there is a play on the word Time/Thyme? Like time on a clock and the herb time? I HATE that. I also hate plays on the word Raqs. Raq and roll, "you Raq", etc. Just for the record, I don't find that shit funny. I think it is too obvious, kind of like flea market t-shirt, bumper sticker material.......o.k.maybe it is funny the first time. Put it in the same category as the words," syke", and "not".